Friends forever!

On Saturday night, I threw a birthday party for the husband. Friends came and lots of food & drink was consumed. The husband seemed to enjoy himself. However, on Sunday he started on a rant that has been heard before: “I don’t have any real friends” or “they all just came because you invited them” or “I don’t think anybody really likes me or finds me interesting – they all think I’m weird”. The husband does this every now and then and there is no reason to. Some of our friends are good friends with the husband: there’s Dr. J., the Canadian baseball player, who wrote his doctorate dissertation on Feuerbach, Texas-born M. who is struggling with his dissertation on Thomas Aquinas, and newly-wed R. who is a Kant scholar just like the husband – in short; there are good friends.

I know what’s bothering the husband: The friends might be good friends but they are not Affleck-T. who was here a few years ago. Affleck-T. and the husband were inseparable. Constantly arguing, never agreeing, hours, days and nights on end. They talked about everything and nothing. They still do. They can have a 4 hour conversation over the phone, and when they hang up I ask the husband “How is Affleck-T.’s wife?” or “How is the baby?” and the husband answers “I don’t know” because they talked about Barry Bonds the whole time.

Affleck-T. went back to the USA and lives with his wife and children in the Boston area.

Living abroad, you do loose some of your investment in friendships, because you’ll make friends with other expats, and they seem to move more than other friends. After you move, you remain friends (most of the time) but it’s the everyday friendship that you miss.

By Lovain