Sunday, March 25, 2007

Not enough mother, not enough blogger, not enough wife, not enough friend, not enough person

Two weeks into my new job and I’m starting to feel a bit less distant and out of control; I’m still tired and have not accomplished a whole lot this weekend, however I did go shopping, cleaned up the house, washed all our clothes and spent time with the loved ones. I even managed to watch a movie “Little Miss Sunshine” which I enjoyed tremendously. The Husband & I laughed heartily, and the movie made me feel satisfied; happy with my life. The boys rented “Flushed away” which was a good movie as well.

At the end of the weekend, I do feel I could have used more time, however, mainly with the boys and the youngest one in particular; he comes into my bed every night, and has been especially clingy and winy. Both of the boys blurt out “mama” at least every 5 minutes (be it while I’m trying to get some extra sleep in the morning or while I’m blogging or reading), as if to make sure I’m there. I’m accepting it (everything, in fact), however it does make me feel stressed (naturally). I spend every minute that I’m not at work with them, and I’m not sure what else I can do - yet, it’s clearly not enough, which is frustrating. In addition to not feeling adequate when it comes to being a mother, I’m also tired and stressed because I never have a minute just for myself: I don't get to write witty blog posts, I don't have enough time to cook fantastic meals, I can't get that extra scarf I need to wear to work because I can't drag the boys into a clothing store and I can't leave them, I can't read, listen to music and relax; I can't even take a shower without the boys hovering around the bathroom "Mama! Are you in the shower?". It's stressful.

Still, I feel better now than I did last week and I know we’ll be able to fine-tune this whole affair to the point where things will be all right.

And may I just add; Greg Kinnear is awesome!

(While writing this blog post, I 1/drew the outline for 3 Batmans and 2 The Incredible Hulks, 2/got the boys drinks and snacks, 3/found a specific book the youngest one "needed", 4/admired 5 pictures and commented on color schemes continuously, and 5/finally broke down from the asking & asking and gave up trying to write a witty blog.)

By Lovain

Thursday, March 22, 2007

My work in Brussels

I work on the 6th floor in this (by my standards) enormous building. I'm a 2 min. walk from Rue Neuve; Brussels' most famous shopping street. If you're ever in town, let me know!

By Lovain

Friday, March 16, 2007

Ending my first week by un-neglecting

Me starting a new job is a big issue in our household; not only will it have a financial impact but it’s also a practical adjustment, not to mention the intellectual and professional challenge it presents me with. We have hence been talking about and anticipating this change for several weeks now, and on Monday when the day finally arrived, the Husband & I were excited, thrilled and worked up.

Once my first pay check arrives, we will finally be in a situation where we don’t have to worry about money every day, and having done this for so long, it will be a welcome relief. I can finally buy new sneakers for the boys!

Looking back at this past week, I’ve learned a lot already, and I’m challenged every day in a very stimulating and professional manner. The first days I felt like a talented amateur violinist who had just been hired for a position in a professional orchestra: I knew how to play a violin, but had never done it under these circumstances! Over the past couple of days I’ve started to feel more comfortable, however, and even though I know I still have a lot to learn, I know I’ll master everything eventually. Most of all, I know I’ll enjoy the road there.

Practically, the adjustment has been less smooth. In trying to give myself a good start professionally this week, I find myself having neglected other parts of my life; the Husband, the boys, friends and household duties. Luckily, the Husband has stepped in, valiantly, to make lunches for the boys, bring them to school, and take care of the immediate house needs such as dishes.

Luckily it’s Friday today, and I intend on spending my weekend catching up on these uncared for matters. There is nothing, namely, more important than family, right?

By Lovain

Monday, March 12, 2007

First day of work

Today was my first day at my new job. In my, for the occasion, newly purchased suit, I entered a huge building in the middle of Brussels this morning, received a security clearance and a badge, and was picked up by one of my new colleages in the lobby.

A day of "Hi! I'm Lovain. Nice to meet you!", lunch in a new cafeteria, a number of "I understand" or "OK, I'm sure I'll get the hang of it"s later, I'm surprizingly tired but enticed. I'll do it all over again tomorrow.

By Lovain

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

My painful movie experience: Borat

Last night the Husband had rented Borat: cultural learnings of America for make benefit glorious nation of Kazakhstan for me which I watched while he was over at Dr. John’s translating Baumgarten into English. I laughed, but it hurt. The movie was painful to watch. It was painfully amusing, and sometimes not funny, but in general I was laughing AND suffering at the same time. Does that make any sense?

By Lovain

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

My 3-year old's pee-pee problems

While Mr. Speedo & I biked to a car-sharing meeting yesterday, I told him about the youngest one’s “penis-problem”.

Since a couple of months now, the youngest one has had problems dealing with “his pee-pee staying big”. He’ll wake up in the morning, alarmed on the verge of tears “mama, my pee-pee is big!” and I’ll tell him to go to the bathroom “it will go down after you’ve gone pee”, and now it has happened a few times and he’s no longer upset (although still disturbed) because we have talked to him about it, but the first time this happened he stayed in the bathroom for a long time. After about 10 minutes we went in to check on him and he was standing there next to the toilet with his pants down, silently crying; big tears running down his cheeks. “What’s the matter, youngest one?” I asked and between the sobs and snivels he told me “I went pee but my pee-pee STILL STAYS BIG!” he said, and then he burst into tears again.

Mr. Speedo laughed so hard he nearly fell of his bike “and this is when you pointed at him and burst out laughing, right?” and then he added with a slightly more serious tone of voice “we could really mess up our children’s lives, couldn’t we?” before letting out another big laughter.

By Lovain