Relocating to Cairo, Egypt in 4 months; no reason to stress?

Seeing that 1 September really isn’t that far off, and seeing that I haven’t seen one single entire chapter of the husband’s thesis yet, I was getting ‘a bit’ worked up about our forthcoming relocation the other day; how’s the husband going to finish his thesis all the while I work full time, the kids are home during their summer break, and we have to arrange everything for the transfer; vaccinations, dentist visits, VISAs, passport renewals, packing and moving house, insurance, bank account transfers, etc.?! (OK, I was getting really worked up, almost to a level of hysteria.) “Honey, just calm down” the husband said with a cool voice “No matter what happens between now and then, on 1 September we’ll still be in Cairo. I’ve accepted the offer, and we’re going to Cairo.” Of course he’s right; everything will be taken care of, I know we simply have to do what it takes, and there’s no reason to stress, however knowing that I’ll have to plan and execute most of the practical arrangements (and think of everything from canceling our grocery store card to buying myself a hijab), all the while working full time, I’m still a bit worked up - but just a little.

By Lovain

We're moving to Cairo!

Who would have thought that we would ever live in Cairo, Egypt? But it's official; the Husband has accepted the offer from the American University there, and we're moving after the summer. My head is spinning.

By Lovain

What's another year?

This past Tuesday I turned 34. My colleagues took me out to lunch, the husband and the boys celebrated me with a steak dinner, cake and presents, and today the Amazing M. & Mr. Speedo threw me a wonderful birthday picnic at the park. It was a beautiful day; knowing that we all have great adventures lying ahead of us, we fully seized the day, and as I watched the husband, the boys, Mr. Speedo, the amazing M. and their 2 oldest children (the baby was snug in my arms) sing me "Happy birthday" I felt everything but old.

“Thirty-five is a very attractive age. London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained thirty-five for years." (Oscar Wilde; Lady Bracknell, Act III)

By Lovain

Are we moving to Cairo? What do you think?

For as long as we have been together, the reason for our stay here in Belgium and our focus has been to finish the husband's doctorate so that he could get a good academic job in the U.S. We've never intended on staying in Belgium. The husband's career has been the director of our life, and along with it we have, all this time, been expecting and anticipating the final move and our settling down; buy a house, a car, enroll the boys in a school in a middle-sized town in America, and finally build our American life.

In a shockful state I now find myself trying to decide whether or not we really want to move; leave the safe Belgian social security system, leave my new fantastic and well-paid job, leave our nice rented house in the quiet suburd of Leuven, leave friends and familiar places, the children's school and our life as we know it, and move to Cairo, Egypt; not the U.S. but yes, to a muslim country in northern Africa.

The offer is nice, the community seems nice, and the experience would be nice; yet I keep thinking "what are we doing?!" Any ideas or reflections you might have in relation to an important decision like this are more than welcome!

By Lovain

Four happy friends in Belgium, spring of 2007

By Halloween these four best friends will be thousands of miles apart. Doesn't it break your hart?


By Lovain

Spring planting

Knowing that this probably is our last summer here in Belgium, we intend to take advantage of our lovely garden, and the husband & the youngest one enjoy gardening this spring.

By Lovain

Lots of beer to soothen the fear; when finishing a doctorate and a move to Cairo lies ahead

The husband went out for drinks last night with Mr. Speedo, and didn’t fall into bed until sometime after 4:30 this the morning. “Mr. Speedo was in full kebab-mode,” the husband said, excusing his own drunken state and the late hour. “Sounds like you had a good time,” I mumbled, and then told him to let me sleep a little more before the boys wake up.

I hope they had fun together, and managed, if only for a few minutes, to forget the stress that they are currently under, the pressure that is on them, and the hard and difficult times that lay ahead of us this year. Seeing that they are nearing the end of their doctorate studies, they’ve applied for jobs this spring; Mr. Speedo more actively than the husband, since he couldn’t rely on his wife for financial support (visa status implications) should there be a gap between doctorate graduation and a job offer. The husband initially decided it was too early to apply for jobs, especially in light of my starting a new job, however after pressure from a friend, he sent in an application to one university.

Mr. Speedo applied for 10 open positions in the U.S. and Canada, and got two interviews and one offer from a university in northeastern Canada, which he has accepted. The husband applied for one position at the American University of Cairo and got one offer, which he will accept later this week.

This drama in our lives implies several things: first of all it means that both our families will be leaving this country in one form or another this fall, going separate directions. Secondly, it means that both the husband and Mr. Speedo will need to have finished their doctorate dissertations by the end of the summer. Along with the knowledge that our lives are going to dramatically change over the next year, it’s the latter of the two implications that is causing the husband and Mr. Speedo stress. They have to finish their texts!

So if they both needed a few Rocheforts and kebabs to relax last night, then I grant them that; whatever it takes, as long as they finish.

By Lovain

Happy feet

Last night we rented Happy Feet, and the boys enjoyed it tremendously. For those of you who haven't seen it, it starts out with 2 penguins getting together (by matching their special songs), they have an egg, and then all the females go off during the winter to catch fish while the males stay with the eggs. I asked the boys what was happening, and to them, this was the most natural constellation of all. "But the mamas are going to work, and the dadas stay home taking care of the babies" the youngest one said with an explanatory voice.

Well of course. It's the world as they know it.

By Lovain

Back to school for shoes, goggles and giggles

This past week I’ve been back to school. Since the company I work for is in a business I’ve never officially studied, I’m taking courses these first couple of weeks to learn all about the trade. It’s like being back at the university again, only this time it’s the real world business university studies, meaning you don’t get to drink beer in between classes, your mother doesn’t send you food or do your laundry, you don’t get to record lectures and exchange notes with class mates, and most importantly, you don’t have 4 years to finish; we are expected to learn everything about the subject - a matter you take at least one semester to learn about at the university - in a couple of weeks time, and there’s no flunking, no retaking exams; we simply have to know all the stuff by the end of the course. Needless to say, I’m tired. Excited, because I love to learn; happy, because it’s an interesting course, but really quite exhausted from trying to take in a lot of information in a short amount of time, and tired because I can’t throw my books on my desk when I come home and lay down on my bed while calling friends; I have 2 boys and a doctorate thesis writing husband, remember? A dirty house, dinner, dishes, laundry, shopping, Easter crafting, Batman games and bill paying awaits me every evening, and though some of these responsibilities are things I enjoy very much, it’s still difficult after an 8 hour day of intense university level lectures.

This past week, however, I also got my first paycheck, and believe me: I love my new job! Today I took the boys into town and let them pick out a nice pair of shoes each. They both chose black leather tennis shoes – really nice looking and great quality – and it was such a joy being able to buy them shoes from a real shoe store and not the grocery store or Aldi, knowing the shoes wouldn’t hurt their feet or break in a week. As we passed the swimming department of the sports store, the boys notices they had goggles for kids and immediately looked at me beggingly with their sweet great big eyes (we go swimming quite a bit, and goggles are always missed).

This evening before bed, the boys raced around the house wearing pajamas, their new shoes and swim goggles, happy as only 2 boys in pajamas, new shoes and swim goggles can be. I’m so lucky.

By Lovain

Not enough mother, not enough blogger, not enough wife, not enough friend, not enough person

Two weeks into my new job and I’m starting to feel a bit less distant and out of control; I’m still tired and have not accomplished a whole lot this weekend, however I did go shopping, cleaned up the house, washed all our clothes and spent time with the loved ones. I even managed to watch a movie “Little Miss Sunshine” which I enjoyed tremendously. The Husband & I laughed heartily, and the movie made me feel satisfied; happy with my life. The boys rented “Flushed away” which was a good movie as well.

At the end of the weekend, I do feel I could have used more time, however, mainly with the boys and the youngest one in particular; he comes into my bed every night, and has been especially clingy and winy. Both of the boys blurt out “mama” at least every 5 minutes (be it while I’m trying to get some extra sleep in the morning or while I’m blogging or reading), as if to make sure I’m there. I’m accepting it (everything, in fact), however it does make me feel stressed (naturally). I spend every minute that I’m not at work with them, and I’m not sure what else I can do - yet, it’s clearly not enough, which is frustrating. In addition to not feeling adequate when it comes to being a mother, I’m also tired and stressed because I never have a minute just for myself: I don't get to write witty blog posts, I don't have enough time to cook fantastic meals, I can't get that extra scarf I need to wear to work because I can't drag the boys into a clothing store and I can't leave them, I can't read, listen to music and relax; I can't even take a shower without the boys hovering around the bathroom "Mama! Are you in the shower?". It's stressful.

Still, I feel better now than I did last week and I know we’ll be able to fine-tune this whole affair to the point where things will be all right.

And may I just add; Greg Kinnear is awesome!

(While writing this blog post, I 1/drew the outline for 3 Batmans and 2 The Incredible Hulks, 2/got the boys drinks and snacks, 3/found a specific book the youngest one "needed", 4/admired 5 pictures and commented on color schemes continuously, and 5/finally broke down from the asking & asking and gave up trying to write a witty blog.)

By Lovain

My work in Brussels

I work on the 6th floor in this (by my standards) enormous building. I'm a 2 min. walk from Rue Neuve; Brussels' most famous shopping street. If you're ever in town, let me know!

By Lovain

Ending my first week by un-neglecting

Me starting a new job is a big issue in our household; not only will it have a financial impact but it’s also a practical adjustment, not to mention the intellectual and professional challenge it presents me with. We have hence been talking about and anticipating this change for several weeks now, and on Monday when the day finally arrived, the Husband & I were excited, thrilled and worked up.

Once my first pay check arrives, we will finally be in a situation where we don’t have to worry about money every day, and having done this for so long, it will be a welcome relief. I can finally buy new sneakers for the boys!

Looking back at this past week, I’ve learned a lot already, and I’m challenged every day in a very stimulating and professional manner. The first days I felt like a talented amateur violinist who had just been hired for a position in a professional orchestra: I knew how to play a violin, but had never done it under these circumstances! Over the past couple of days I’ve started to feel more comfortable, however, and even though I know I still have a lot to learn, I know I’ll master everything eventually. Most of all, I know I’ll enjoy the road there.

Practically, the adjustment has been less smooth. In trying to give myself a good start professionally this week, I find myself having neglected other parts of my life; the Husband, the boys, friends and household duties. Luckily, the Husband has stepped in, valiantly, to make lunches for the boys, bring them to school, and take care of the immediate house needs such as dishes.

Luckily it’s Friday today, and I intend on spending my weekend catching up on these uncared for matters. There is nothing, namely, more important than family, right?

By Lovain

First day of work

Today was my first day at my new job. In my, for the occasion, newly purchased suit, I entered a huge building in the middle of Brussels this morning, received a security clearance and a badge, and was picked up by one of my new colleages in the lobby.

A day of "Hi! I'm Lovain. Nice to meet you!", lunch in a new cafeteria, a number of "I understand" or "OK, I'm sure I'll get the hang of it"s later, I'm surprizingly tired but enticed. I'll do it all over again tomorrow.

By Lovain

My painful movie experience: Borat

Last night the Husband had rented Borat: cultural learnings of America for make benefit glorious nation of Kazakhstan for me which I watched while he was over at Dr. John’s translating Baumgarten into English. I laughed, but it hurt. The movie was painful to watch. It was painfully amusing, and sometimes not funny, but in general I was laughing AND suffering at the same time. Does that make any sense?

By Lovain

My 3-year old's pee-pee problems

While Mr. Speedo & I biked to a car-sharing meeting yesterday, I told him about the youngest one’s “penis-problem”.

Since a couple of months now, the youngest one has had problems dealing with “his pee-pee staying big”. He’ll wake up in the morning, alarmed on the verge of tears “mama, my pee-pee is big!” and I’ll tell him to go to the bathroom “it will go down after you’ve gone pee”, and now it has happened a few times and he’s no longer upset (although still disturbed) because we have talked to him about it, but the first time this happened he stayed in the bathroom for a long time. After about 10 minutes we went in to check on him and he was standing there next to the toilet with his pants down, silently crying; big tears running down his cheeks. “What’s the matter, youngest one?” I asked and between the sobs and snivels he told me “I went pee but my pee-pee STILL STAYS BIG!” he said, and then he burst into tears again.

Mr. Speedo laughed so hard he nearly fell of his bike “and this is when you pointed at him and burst out laughing, right?” and then he added with a slightly more serious tone of voice “we could really mess up our children’s lives, couldn’t we?” before letting out another big laughter.

By Lovain

My 30-year old husband

Yesterday the Husband turned 30 years old. He is 4 years younger than I am, and most of our friends are my age or older, so the Husband was usually “the youngest one”. When I talked to my friend A. (who’s a bit older than I am) she said “the Husband is turning 30? Well that’s about time!”

I remember my 30th birthday; I was just about 9 months pregnant with the youngest one and not very concerned about my own age or what I had accomplished before that day; I was having children. The Husband has spent the past few months fretting about his age and achievements however. The thesis might have taken the Husband longer than planned, but we did have 2 boys in between, and I think being happily married with 2 children, on the verge of finishing a doctorate and landing a professor position is not a bad accomplishment at the age of 30, is it? I am proud.

By Lovain

Our baby has arrived

On Friday morning my friend the amazing M. gave birth to her 3rd child; a beautiful baby boy. Tears of joy ran down my cheeks as I hugged her a few hours later. He was perfect! It was a quick yet painful birth (as births have been known to be) and afterwards the amazing M. said this was her very last birth. If Mr. Speedo wanted to have more children then he could have the next one, she said.

Well, Mr. Speedo, I guess it’s “1-2-3 strikes you’re out”.

By Lovain

Swedish culture & the Swedes

I found this amusing list “you know you’ve been in Sweden too long when…” here, and below is an excerpt containing my favorites. Most of the observations made me go “aaaahhhh” or “oooohhh” with a nostalgic, longing kind of sound. Sometimes I really miss Sweden.

1. You no longer snigger when you see grown women walking around with their hair in plaits.

3. The first thing you do upon entering a bank/post office/chemist etc. is to look for the queue number machine.

4. You accept that you will have to queue to take a queue number.

5. When a stranger on the street smiles at you, you assume:
a: he is drunk
b: he is insane
c: he's an American

11. The reason you take the ferry to Finland is:
a: duty free vodka
b: duty free beer
c: to party hearty...no need to get off the boat in Helsinki, just turn around and do it again on the way back to Sweden.

12. Your coffee consumption exceeds 6 cups a day and coffee is too weak if there is less than 10 scoops per pot.

14. A sharp intake of breath has become part of your vocabulary, as has the sound ”Jah hahh”

15. Your native language has seriously deteriorated, now you begin to "eat medicine", "open the television", "close the lights off", “take a beer”, ”look upon everything” and tell someone to “follow with me” or "you needn't to!" You start to say “for 2 years ago” and expressions like "Don't panic" creep into your everyday language.

16. You associate pea soup with Thursday.

23. The fact that all of the "v's" and the "w's" are together in the phone directory seems right.

24. Your old habit of being "fashionably late" is no longer acceptable. You are always on time.

25. Hugging is reserved for sexual foreplay

28. You hear loud-talking passengers on the train. You immediately assume:
a: they are drunk
b: they are Finnish
c: they are American
d: all of the above

30. You know how to fix herring in 105 different ways.

31. You eat herring in 105 ways.

38. You no longer see any problem wearing white socks with sandals.

39. Indoors you wear sandals with socks, regardless of the season.

40. You no longer correct people who say MAC Donald's.

43. You know that "religious holiday" means "let's get pissed."

44. You enjoy the taste of surströmming and lutfisk.

49. You eat jam with savory dishes

51. You accept that 80 degrees C in a sauna is chilly, but 20 degrees C outside is freaking hot.

53. It no longer seems excessive to spend 1,000kr on alcohol in a single night

57. Having to book seat numbers at a cinema makes perfect sense. And you sit in your booked seat even if there are only 2 other people there and your seat is in the front row, on the side.

60. Someone calls you a ”good moron” first thing in the morning and you smile acknowledgement.

63. You associate Friday afternoon with a trip to systembolaget.

64. You think nothing of paying $50 for a bottle of 'cheap' spirits at systembolaget

65. You know all of the “telephone times” by heart.

73. You wear warm clothing when it's 25 degrees plus in April - because it's April.

74. You wear shorts and t-shirt when it's barely 10 degrees in July - because it's July.

75. You get extremely annoyed when the bus is two minutes late.

76. You think women are more than equal than men and deserve to have better positions in the work place.

81. You've been engaged for four years and don't have any plans to get married.

83. You and your friends know exactly the same information, and have the same attitudes and beliefs in the value of Social Democracy.

85. You think that if you smoke a joint you will wind up in an insane asylum. [or become a habitual criminal]

90. You think black rimmed glasses are cool. Your wardrobe now consists of 20 different shades of black and grey.

89. You stop explaining to people what Christmas Crackers are and accept that they aren't - at least in Sweden

94. You don't question the concept of 'telephone time'. It seems reasonable that no business can be conducted on Friday afternoons. [or the entire month of July]

95. You assume that anyone who apologizes after bumping into you is a tourist.

96. You feel discomfort if you can't find the nummerlap machine.

97. You reach for your pocket 20 times a day as mobile phones ring all around you.

98. You actually care if your mobile phone meets the fashion standard - and so do your new Swedish friends.

99. It seems reasonable that even those begging for money at T-centralen reach for their pocket as the melodic music of the Swedish mobile phone resounds.

100. You get into a Mercedes taxi cab and think nothing of it

101. Paying $6 for a cup of coffee seems reasonable.

102. You understand that when a colleague asks you out for "a drink," it will probably be a long night with a severe hangover the next day.

103. You start to think that having a sauna in the nude with a bunch of strangers is a necessary part of daily life ... and a necessary part of business.

104. You start to differentiate between types of snow.

107. You become extremely skilled at assembling pre-packaged furniture kits.

109. You get to the movies early so that you can watch the commercials.

114. Your shed becomes the first stage in the recycling process and you can't get in it for bags of paper/cardboard/bottles, refundable glass/plastic, recyclable glass/plastic/ containers/etc.

116. When offered a bottle of beer the first thing you look at is the alcoholic percentage.

120. You use the alcohol percentage-per-kroner standard for measuring the quality of beer and wine.

121. You think it is normal EVERYTHING is regulated and you obey the rules voluntarily.

133. Even you can hear your own accent.

134. When someone asks you for "sex" you assume they mean half-a-dozen.

137. You expect to find the glove you dropped in February hanging on a post in June

138. Bringing dead sticks indoors at Easter and hanging colored feathers on them seems a good way to celebrate spring.

139. Pigs say ”nerf nerf”, frogs say ”kvack, kvack” and roosters say ”kuckeliku”

140. You immediately think that a bottle of wine contains 75cl, and a carton of cream is 3dl. And you can’t for the life of you remember just what 500ml is in dl or cl.

142. You talk of –10C as ”10 degrees cold”, when in Australia +10C would be considered cold. And who else calls +1C, ”one degree warm”!

143. You know that ”Extrapris” goods are cheaper, even though your English mind translates the word as ”extra price”

144. You will squeeze past somebody rather than say excuse me.

146. The first thing you do in the morning is to switch on your car heater.

150. A fun way for people to pass a wintry afternoon is to watch a Bandy match outdoors when it's minus 20 degrees.

151. Everybody has an outdoor thermometer at home and they all compare temperatures when they get to work.

153. You ringed somebody yesterday instead of you rang them.

154. Your husband is very long instead of being very tall

158. You pour filmjölk (soured milk) on your Kellogg's Frosties.

176. You think nothing of spending all day at IKEA looking for a piece of furniture and then spending the whole next day putting it together.

179. You can't throw a plastic bottle away with out having a guilty conscience.

181. You not only order a pizza with asparagus, banana and béarnaise sauce on it, but you actually like it and wonder why they don't offer it back in Australia.

183. You find yourself munching on Kalles Kaviar and hårdbröd at 3 A.M.

184. You get used to hotdogs being called sausage and you eat them as the "meat" part of a meal without a bun.

187. You hide 5 or 6 bottles of spirits in your suitcase, one or two in your backpack, and put just one in the duty free shopping bag.

188. You think horse meat is a totally acceptable sandwich topping.

189. You think there is nothing wrong with planning Christmas around Kalle Anka (Donald Duck).

190. You don't even think about what you are saying when you are off to the shop to buy your favorite brand of cat food, and you say, "Be right back love, I'm just gonna go get some Pussi"

191. You start calling Coke "cola".

192. You get up for a cigarette at 2 AM in July and put on your sunglasses first.

193. You have 53 different recipes for strömming and you're about ready to clip number 54 from Dagens Nyheter.

197. You know the words to more than one 'snapsvisa' and sing them without difficulty.

199. You would never ever even consider using a metal knife on the butter.

202. When visiting others you try to go in first. If it's locked THEN you ring the doorbell.

203. While visiting England someone gives you directions and says, "It's about 5 miles down the road." You in turn ask, "Are you talking Swedish miles or English miles?"

204. You start spelling the days of the week in lowercase! monday, tuesday....

205. You find that you can't spell in English anymore. You now replace C with K. Like panik, automatik, seasik, arithmetik.... and you try to remember does papper/paper have one or two p’s in English?

206. You no longer make appointments, but instead you book times.

207. You read text instead of sub-titles.

217. You can identify the people on Big Brother and Expedition Robinson.

219. You can name the toppings of at least ten different pizzas just by name (which is coincidentally more than the pizza-baker can himself)

222. You ask for a Big Mac and company outside of Sweden.

224. Someone cuts you off on the freeway and instead of giving them the finger; you simply mumble "eedeeyout" under your breath.

226. You no longer think it odd that you talk to your kids in English and they answer in Swedish.

229. You say “I’m almost annoyed” when you’re as furious as humanly possible.

233. People buy you a drink in November because they remember when you bought them one in March.

234. You have no idea what "The X-files" is but you watch "Arkiv X" as soon as it's on TV.

242. You refer to weeks by their number.

243. You carefully dissect the restaurant bill so you know to the exact kr. how much everybody owes.

244. You know the catalogue numbers of all of your favorite wines at Systembolaget.

245. It's May. It's 15C degrees. And you're stretched out on your balcony in your bikini trying to get a head start on your tan.

248. England, Scotland and Wales can all be called England.

250. If you meet someone you haven't seen in ages you just stay right where you are chatting away even if that happens to be in the doorway of a very busy department store.

252. Christmas presents are opened somewhere between Donald Duck and "Karl-Bertil Jonsson" on Christmas Eve. Whoever heard of doing it the morning of Christmas Day?

253. If no TV station airs "Ivanhoe" on Christmas Day you become extremely irritated.

254. You just have to watch "Grevinnan och betjänten" on New Years Eve.

260. You find it reasonable that reviews of non-Swedish movies with a Swedish actor in them should use at least half of the space available to discuss how good or bad the actor was in it, even if he had just one line.

262. You watched "The Phantom Menace" and "Attack of the Clones" just to see Pernilla August.

265. You don't get surprised when kids come trick-or-treating during Easter, all dressed up like witches.

266. You don't find it odd to find movies with a "translated" title. It's perfectly normal for a movie to get a completely different English title than the one it has in the rest of the world.

269. You use the word "or" as a question.

272. You think it's normal that people take shoes in a bag to the theatre

278. You remember to buy the weekend grog supply before 5.00pm on Friday

279. It is your birthday YOU have to make the cake

281. You start collecting travel brochures and talking of trips to tacky places like Gran Canaria just for a fix of sun.

282. You agree to pay 500kr for a basic hair trim.

284. the most interesting report on the news is the weather.

285. You start to believe that everything in Sweden is actually good.

286. When you say good bye to someone you depart by saying 'Have it so good'

287. When you make a mistake or an accident happens you say 'It was not the meaning'.

289. You get annoyed when you realize you have to say “not too much and not too little” instead of “lagom”.

290. You either run for the last pendeltåg at 1 am or choose to party on until 5 am when they start again rather than endure the horrific night bus home, as a taxi ride would require taking out a 2nd mortgage.

292. You find yourself eating bay-con for breakfast and talking about Bill Clin-ton and taking a trip to Lon-don.

293. Anything good and in particular food is “giant good”.

294. ICA is not I.C.A - it's eeka.

295. The wash cottage is not a holiday resort but a very competitive environment, where the rules should never be broken and in particular never go over your time by even a minute or you risk a lot of sucking and muttering from the next in line.

296. A recipe for drugs is not instructions on how to make them.

297. Gift is not a present but it could be dangerous (whether it is poison or marriage)

301. When talking about centuries the Swedes all seem to be a hundred years behind.

303. You know what 'What seventeen' means.

304. Swedes saying Va' to you is still annoying (even after ten years), not to mention that there is no real word for please, or?

307. You eat pizza with a knife and fork.

308. You only leave the country to stockpile cheap alcohol.

312. You no longer find this list funny, just painfully true.

313. You know the names of two or more Swedish ministers.

314. You get excited when you hear someone speaking English.

323. You put both jam and cheese on toast and call it breakfast.

324. You were excited when Kalles Kaviar released "Kalles Randiga".

325. You eat caviar from a tube.

329. Your wallet contains more plastic than a Hollywood superstar.

332. You make liberal use of compound words never heard of by Webster or Roget.

337. In chess, you refer to the knight as a horse, the rook as a tower, and the pawns as farmers or peasants.

339. You feel a certain sense of pride when you see Swedish people in films or on foreign TV shows.

340. Drinking is the fundamental pillar of your social network, be it coffee or alcohol.

342. A “big strong one” is a beer.

345. When someone asks you "Hi, how are you?" you actually take time out to explain how you are.

346. You automatically try to dress the same as everyone else.

347. You know the words to the frog song.

348. When you stop converting Swedish crowns into your native currency.

349. You are no longer surprised when you see full-frontal male nudity in a commercial or on TV.

350. You make fun of tourists.

358. It seems sensible that you need to be at least 25 to buy a bottle of red wine.

361. When you see that the time is 3.30 and you say it’s "half TO four" (halv fyra)

363. You think there is no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing.

372. Pronouncing Euro as “Evro” makes sense.

374. You're complaining in January not because it's minus 10 degrees, but because there's no snow.

375. Your house is starting to look like the showcase to IKEA.

390. When you reply 'Yes, thank you' when people ask you how you are. (Hur är det? Jo tack.)

399. You start thinking about the weekend on Wednesday morning.

400. YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE LIVE ANYWHERE BUT IN SWEDEN!!!!

By Lovain

Family relations: my brother came to visit

My oldest brother, his wife, their youngest child and his girlfriend came from Sweden to visit us this weekend. The boys were still sick and could not enjoy the visit as much as they had wanted, however I had a great time catching up with the family. We see each other so rarely, and my brother and I are very bad at calling each other so we don’t keep in touch regularly; when we do meet, however, it’s never awkward and always very nice.

My oldest brother is 10 years older than I am, and by the time I was a teenager, he had already moved out and got married. He met his wife in high school; a beautiful girl from town (we lived outside), and they quickly got married, built a house and had children. By the time they were 25, the beautiful wife already had her own lucrative business and they were leading a well-established upper middle-class life in our home town; they still do. Their friends are their old best friends, they shop in the store we always shopped, order pizza from the same places, and go to the same bank their savings accounts were opened at when they were born. They travel and enjoy life, and now that their children are grown, they can enjoy turning 43 with all its might. They’re a very happy couple with a very stabile life; simple and good, and I envy them.

Yet, it’s the life I chose not to lead. Noo-nooo! I had to complicate my life; go off to college, study abroad, work in Europe, make friends I can’t see on a day to day basis because they live all over the world, and worst of all; marry a foreigner, an American at that! My family knows me well enough to understand my choices; I do however suspect that they sometimes think I’m quite strange. I’m the odd sister with an American philosophy professor husband who lives in Belgium.

I do love it when they come to visit though.

By Lovain

Our cultural weakness: Adam Sandler

Monday night we rented Click with Adam Sandler. The Husband & I (are embarrassed to) admit that we are big Adam Sandler fans, and will eternally forgive him for all the foul language and bad jokes he ever have and ever will produce. On Monday evening we forgave him for all the dog-humpin’, the label offences and other transgressions as we laughed out loud for an hour and a half.

By Lovain