This school-year's first cold

My productive weekend was followed by a non-productive week. I was constrained by a cold, and although I did not notably neglect my work or other duties, I had no energy left for extravagant leisure such as blogging. A low-key weekend restored my health however, and I have now returned with full strength.

By Lovain

The weekend when things got done

This weekend was one of those marathon weekends where things got done.

I cleaned the house; scrubbed the bathrooms, sorted out the toys in the boys’ room, swept and washed the floors, changed & washed all the sheets & blankets in our beds, did 4 loads of laundry that I folded & sorted and then I scrubbed the kitchen. I also cut back the ivy in front of our house, mowed the lawn, weeded, paid bills and fixed 4 broken lights. I ran errands in town - with the boys - which included, among other, making them sit still in a tiny fitting room while I tried on 9 different swimsuits. I played with the boys in the backyard and their room, we watched a movie and ate popcorn, went to the KERMIS with our friends, and then I spent a bit of quality time with the Husband. I also managed to call my friend & colleague T. the Dane’s widow and my mother.

As the great Margaret Thatcher once put it:

“Look at a day when you are supremely satisfied at the end. It's not a day when you lounge around doing nothing; it's when you've had everything to do, and you've done it”.

Of course; the hallway and closets still needs sorted, the laundry room needs organized as does the attick in preparation of the Halloween Haunted House. And the grass grew long again. It never ends, does it?

By Lovain

Happy Wedding anniversary!

Yesterday afternoon I called the Husband from work to check if, or rather confirm that he, like me, had forgotten that it was our wedding anniversary.

“Did you have something in mind for tonight?” I asked, scouting.

He thought for a while and then asked “How many years is it?” He got it.

Does this happen to everybody after so many years? Or is it just the Husband & I that have a different perception?

8 years ago, we had a very small wedding; a simple ceremony in the Warsaw Town Hall, followed by a family picnic in the city park. Rather than a grand event, our getting married was more of a confirmation of something we had already promised each other when we got engaged.

To mark the occasion last night, I picked up Chinese food – Lemon chicken; the Husband’s favorite – on my way home from work, and after having put the boys to bed we watched the final episode of LOST together.

Happy Anniversary, my love.

By Lovain

A 1991 Ford Scorpio - Part III; Epilog

In the end we decided that keeping our Ford is too much of a financial risk – a risk that we currently can not afford. Hence I posted our car on e-bay where it stayed for 1 whole week, like some forsaken redundancy; shoved into that callous realm they call internet shopping, awaiting its gloomy kismet. Nobody bid on it.

Fortunately my Polish colleague G.’s brother offered to buy it for 250€, and tonight he’s picking it up. I have signed a contract stating that as of today, our car is of a different owner for the representative sum of 1€. As of tomorrow I shall have to carry our milk home myself.

By Lovain

The Swedish elections are coming up

On Saturday I brought the whole family to accompany me to the Swedish Embassy. We entered a festive atmosphere; Swedes standing around chatting, people laughing, and there was a big bowl of Swedish candy centrally placed on the reception table. Swedish children were running around, filling their mouths with candy. The boys threw themselves right in and mingled with the other “blondes”, while I stood in line for a few minutes, and then watched the official voting administrator put my vote in an envelope with the other votes.

I left the embassy with a feeling of satisfaction and pride; I felt Swedish – a Swede that had just fulfilled her citizen duty. The sun was shining, it was a beautiful Saturday morning, and I was a voting Swede: we celebrated by going to the Pizza Hut lunch buffet for lunch. After all, one only votes once every 4 years!

The Swedish elections are one Sunday, and it’s a very close call. The parties have joined forces and are divided into 2 opposing sides this year: the blue side and the red side. The blue side is represented by the conservative party ‘Moderaterna’, the liberal party ‘Folkpartiet’, the farmers’ union ‘Centern’ and the Christian democrats ‘Kristdemokraterna’. The red side is represented by the Social democrats ‘Socialdemokraterna’, the socialists ‘V’ and the environmental party ‘Miljöpartiet’. It is the latter group that are in majority for the moment, but as of Sunday, our prime minister might not be Göran Persson any more, but Fredrik Rheinfeldt. God help us.

By Lovain

My friend T. the Dane is dead

On Thursday morning at 5:30 am my friend and former colleague T. the Dane suffered a massive heart attack and died almost instantly. He was 59 years old.

On Monday, 4 days later, T. the Dane's first grandchild, whose birth he has been proudly proclaiming and eagerly awaiting, was born.

The Lord Giveth, The Lord Taketh Away.

By Lovain

Babies to come & babies lost: I'm oh so happy but oh so sad

In July two of my friends confided in me; one of them had just taken a positive pregnancy test, and the other one had just had a miscarriage. The due dates of the baby to come and the baby lost were only a couple of days apart.

My friend the amazing M. is now somewhere around 15 weeks pregnant; we have seen solid ultra sound pictures of her healthy baby, and it is no longer a secret that she is expecting. 3rd time around, her body certainly knows what to do and you cannot be mistaken when you see her: she’s having a baby. We’re all happily expecting our addition at the end of February of 2007.

My other friend has wisely kept her secret, and although having recovered entirely physically from her miscarriage, the loss and sorrow remain. When I confirmed the rumors she had heard about the amazing M. expecting another child, and added the exact due date, my friend’s sadness came over her again. I’m happy my friend lets me share her grief. I have never had a miscarriage but I know what it’s like to loose a family member; you go on living a happy life, but the tears still come back once in a while.

By Lovain

I'm reading "Kant: A Biography" by Manfred Kuehn

Last night I started reading “Kant: A biography” by Manfred Kuehn. With the Husband finishing his doctorate on the philosophy of Kant, one would have thought that I’d read it before, but it’s one of those books that I never got to. Until now.

Immanuel Kant (1724-1804) was a great philosopher and an interesting man. He devoted his entire life to philosophy and never married or had kids. He never went further than 70 miles from his hometown, Königsberg in Prussia (now Kaliningrad, Russia), and yet, or perhaps consequently, he produced some of the most read philosophical texts ever. There are millions of pages in several languages written about him and his philosophy. I shall read my share while the Husband works on yet another opus.

By Lovain

First day of school and the boys did great

Today was the first day back to school. On Wednesday evening we took the boys to an open house at their school, just to reacquaint them with their class rooms and new teachers. This morning the boys excitedly ran into the school yard, dodging crying children and stressed parents, and made their way to their class rooms. The Husband followed the youngest boy, and I the oldest one; he hung up his coat and ran into the class room with a look of expectation and delight “bye mama!” and immediately started playing with his classmates. The teacher had a big smile on her face. What a relief.

I went back to the youngest one’s class room for a last check; he was busy assisting his new teacher in taking care of the younger, crying children in his class, putting their lunch boxes in the lunch box box, and had taken on his over-protecting concerned look. He seemed confident and comfortable.

I kissed the Husband good-bye and went to work. It was a good morning.

By Lovain

New research: breastmilk cures cancer

There is an article in a Swedish paper about research on cancer cells at a university hospital in Sweden: Professor Catharina Svanborg and her team have identified a protein only existing in breast milk that cures cancer. Named Hamlet “Human alpha-lactalbumin made lethal to tumor cellens”, it has actually been tested and proven to cure certain types of cancer. The concluded study involved an external benign cancer, papillom, which is a type of wart; however the cells in these warts are somewhat similar to cells in uterine cancer for example, and this, of course, makes the discovery even more fantastic.

40 people with the papilliom cancer participated in the study. After having brushed the protein on the cancer over a period of time, 8 in 10 were fully cured. 2 years after the study the cancer had not returned. Experiments involving urine bladder cancer are currently underway. Here, the protein is injected into the bladder. So far, the study has been as positive as previous tests. The protein actually kills the malign cells without hurting other cells.

Isn’t it amazing? And all we had to do was lactate; something women have been doing for 100,000 years, and I for 5.

By Lovain

A 1991 Ford Scorpio and 4 academics - Part II; we didn't pass the control

I’m trying to get over a depression. It started this morning at exactly 8:06 am when I read out loud to my friend Texas-born M. from our AUTOKEURING-slip “Corrosion. Code 2”. We actually thought the guy who checked our car, Mr. Flashlight, had said he would pass us this time, but that we should think about taking care of the rust (all the while rubbing his thumb & two fingers together giving us the general sign for “it will cost you”). When we saw our permit however, we realized that Mr. Flashlight had not been so generous. We have two weeks to recondition our car or we may not drive it any more.

My friend Texas-born M. is ready to give up. However, it’s really myself and his wife, the amazing M., that benefit from the car, and I don't think I can give it up. It makes shopping so much easier (we consume about 10 bottles of milk/week – try dragging that home on your bike after work)!, and no matter what anybody thinks; being able to go to IKEA and buy Swedish food makes me so happy I feel it’s a physical need. Is the convenience worth 300€/family though, seeing that we’ve already spent about that much on repairs already? None of us is wealthy with the husbands finishing their doctorates, not making any money at all, and the wives working for women’s pay, supporting 4 people each.

The car is a luxury; a luxury that I, however, have learned to not be able to live without.

By Lovain

A visit to the Brussels Museum of Natural Sciences - try explaining the evolution of man to a 3 year old!

On Sunday the whole family went to Brussels to visit the Museum of Natural Sciences. It’s not a very modern museum and they are actually reconstructing most of it so a lot of the displays are limited to a temporary exhibition. For us, it was perhaps best so. The train and metro ride to Brussels alone provided the boys with an exiting experience. For the boys’ little brains, the things we saw and taught them about were enough to last them a long time: dinosaurs, fossils, the composition of the earth, butterflies pinned to boards and mammoth skeletons, not to mention the evolution of man. “Mama, look! A monkey next to a man!” The younger one was pointing out a stuffed gorilla displayed next to a wooden statue of a man. “Well, yes, you see: scientific research indicates that man might ascend from apes. Before there were people…” The younger one’s eyebrows were touching his hair line by now: I could almost see the 3 year old brain processing the information. We had a great day.

By Lovain

A 1991 Ford Scorpio and 4 academics

Our car, our dear 1991 Ford Scorpio (color indeterminable) that we share with our friends M&M, has to go through the yearly control, the AUTOKEURING, by Saturday. Since the car has died 2 times over the past month, we have not had access to it, and have not been able to see to the minor details that needed to be seen to. The right front headlight needs a new bulb. The drivers seat is a bit loose and needs a bolt fastened. Our car mechanic Willy (that’s his last name) also told us that the car would not pass inspection without 650€ worth of rust treatment and new tires. Yesterday, Texas-born M. picked up the car from the garage - the fuel pump had been fixed a 2nd time - and brought it over to our house. We circled the car and noticed rust. We checked which bulb needed replaced but couldn’t quite figure out how to get it out of the headlight. We decided that the rust had always been there and shouldn’t implicate our car’s worldly existence. We forgot to check the tires. We looked under the seat and realized that it was actually not a bolt that we needed, but a blow torch to reattach the metal piece that the bolt attaches to; alternatively, we needed a new driver’s seat. Texas born M. looked up and presented me with the standard American solution “How about super-glue?” suggesting that we try that just to get the car through the control, and then move on to a more permanent solution when time was less pressing. I offered to replace the bulb; however once at the store last night, I failed to identify a suited heir.

So here we are: in this strange country trying to figure out what will happen. We have no fathers or uncles here to show us how the yearly car inspection works; nobody to help us with the car, and nobody to tell us what to expect should we not manage to repair the car or even pass the inspection. We’re on our own. Will we be able to use our car two weeks from now? Between the 4 of us we have over 20 years of university education, at least 4 Master’s degrees, and yet, we don’t know. We’re just going to have to see.

By Lovain

on mother-daughter relationships

When I talked to my good friend A. on the phone last night, I found myself answering her question “How was Sweden?” with “Great. My mom & I did not get into one single argument. The whole trip was great.” I realized only afterwards that this might be perceived as an odd answer; however looking at it in the context of my relationship with my good friend A., perhaps it’s understandable. We often discuss family relationships, and mothers are naturally the issue once in a while. My good friend A. is, like I am, familiar with that, from time to time, rutted province, a mother-daughter relationship might occasion.

I love my mother and since the birth of my children our relationship has moulded into something comparable to a sustainable peace. The past conflict is present, however only as history, and time certainly has if not healed all wounds, at least made them acceptable.

By Lovain

The busy life of an American Swede in Belgium - Happy Easter!

Happy Easter!

You may think I’ve gone mad, but, well; it’s practically Easter. The summer we so eagerly awaited and enjoyed for what seemed like a microscopic moment is now officially over, and things are picking up again. The car has to go in for inspection this week, school starts on Friday, then it’s my oldest son’s best friend (M&M’s oldest son) I.’s birthday, our friends W. & A. are having their first baby, then it’s my oldest son’s 5th birthday tightly followed by Halloween, Thanksgiving, Sinterklaas, family visits and Christmas; Happy New Year! A full final doctorate thesis draft will (hopefully) be handed in, the Husband turns 29, we enter lent, our good friends M&M’s third baby arrives, and swish; it’s Easter. So there you have it, in case you were wondering what I’ll be up to in the next few months.

By Lovain

My friend Texas-born M. on his bike with 4 children

I wish I had a picture but I don’t because I was at work when it happened.

While the Husband is in Turkey astonishing the conference audience at the University of Ankara with his brilliant paper on the notion of life in Kant, our good friend Texas born M. has been taking care of the boys and his own 2 children while I was at work. Monday and Tuesday I left the house at 8:30 and didn’t get back until after 6 pm. Texas born M. would cook and keep the house tidy, and of course feed, dress, entertain and maintain 4 children aged 3-4 ½ years for nearly 10 hours a day.

Yesterday Texas born M. decided to take the kids to the big park; the Provinciaal Domein where a plethora of playgrounds awaited the energetic 4. Since our car is at the garage and it’s quite a ways to get there, they went by bike. Texas born M. has a bike with one seat in the front and one bike seat in the pack. We have a bike cart that seats 2 children. Texas born M. attached the cart to his bike, placed the 4 children in their seats; on in the front, in the back and 2 in the cart (all of the kids wearing helmets, of course), and rode to the park. I wish I could have seen it!

By Lovain

Cleaning the house while the Husband is in Turkey

The Husband is still in Turkey. I spent a wonderful weekend with the boys; cleaning the house, posting holiday pictures online for the family to enjoy, mowing the lawn, reading & playing – getting things done. It’s remarkable how much extra time one has on one’s hands when the significant other is away. When you live with somebody you spend a lot of time just talking to each other, or simply hang out. Alone, I go from doing one thing to another, and especially when the boys are in bed, I get a lot of things done. Alone-time well needed indeed, at our house. I’ve cleaned the house so well that all that is left is the garbage/storage room & the laundry room, the left-over rooms nobody ever wants to get to. Now I miss the Husband.

By Lovain

My boys at the beach in Ystad, Sweden

By Lovain

Back to work @ home and @ work: e-mails, phone calls & cleaning the house

I’m back to work after 2 weeks of holiday.

At work on Wednesday, my first day after a fabulous vacation in Sweden, I had 63 persons waiting for me to call them back. 652 e-mails in my inbox. My new-found friend K. from Portland said that many mails ought to be a crime. I’ve managed to sort them out however; neatly filed in folders and a lot of them deleted. It took me two days. I wonder what people did in offices before there was Outlook?

At home, the house is in dire need of a thorough cleaning. The husband might have done a significant amount of groundbreaking research and remarkable writing on Kant while we were away, but he didn’t sweep the floors. Or wash the sheets. To sum up, he didn’t clean the house or even keep it tidy. Today, the Husband departs for a conference in Turkey, and while he’s away the order of the house shall be restored.

By Lovain

My blond, Swedish-speaking, crayfish-eating boys

The boys assimilated well to life in Sweden. Even though they are not Swedish per se, it was obvious they felt a familiarity with the culture and the Swedes. The oldest one, our blue-eyed blond boy, kept noticing that a lot of people and especially kids had the same hair color as he. The boys also picked up on the language really well, and enjoyed all the Swedish treats in a way only a Swede can. The ultimate proof of their Swedishness is a skill they quickly aquired: they are, namely, both able to perfectly peel and eat kräftor: break, peel, suck, smack, and then a "skål!" followed by the emptying of a small shot glass of alcohol free pear cider. Those are my boys!

By Lovain